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So, it's about 5 minutes to midnight here. Yeah, it'll be the first of January, in the year of our Lord 2018. *sighz* I am spending it watching YouTube and enjoying the fireworks that are shown from all around the world. Man... I feel so tired.

You know, I was wondering. What are those "satisfying" videos about? I mean it's just slime... X/
Is it supposed to be a stress reliever or something?

I received one (1) gift for Christmas this morning. It's a small rectangular box with about twenty-four positive affirmations, in the form of a long poem. There's even a holder in which I can place the affirmations in, on my bedside table. It's a very thoughtful gift. I don't celebrate this occasion, but, I did feel slightly disappointed with the turnout... one gift for Christmas? Damn, I need a social life. Lol... I like it, though. The affirmations are very inspiring... I hope everyone has a good holiday. I'm definitely enjoying the cooler weather... it's a sauna, I swear, in the other periods of the year! Merry Christmas to my friends who celebrate this occasion!

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xRobin3x
19:30 Dec 25 2017

i personally need no gifts myself. glad you got one gift. more then what i got. :)

Friends and family is more imporant to me then gifts, but thats me.

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Man and I cannot get along with each other. That's perhaps because I have more balls than a man can ever have. When a man exercises his power and strength towards another, it usually is easier because there is a preconceived notion that a man has an ego. Well, the death of ego, I say. I was put here to shatter that illusion. Yeah, sure, you last better and longer at the military, but, I can last a whole lifetime. I think I have proven it thus far. I am now unofficially part of a clergy. I am waiting for my Father to get me into a course so that I can wholeheartedly work on the sidelines and background. The course is for free! This has been a wonderful Christmas present for me... Even if I get rejected at the end of the course, I can proudly say that I have found my Calling. And the Calling is not falling on deaf ears. :)

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Kataryia
19:43 Dec 27 2017

Me thinks ,i was born with more testosterone than the 'normal' female ..Rather ,n Have..fight dudes

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Lately, I have been watching a lot of online videos and reading numerous accounts of men and women who went on onto the path of attaining Priesthood. I think they are amazing and very much exemplary. I have always been drawn to the Mysteries, the darker side of them, to be exact. Are there any female Priestesses around here, on Rave? I know that some of you call yourselves High Priestesses of a Coven or a Mentorship. What has your experience been like? Are you a dabbler, or are you an approved High Priestess? I am just curious. I wish I were one... a Priest, that is, but, not someone who is all serious about it... there must be room to grow. I am not talking about becoming a nun or anything like that... if it were, I'd prolly join a convent or something... but, I mean a Priestess. Someone who conducts rituals and says prayers and blessings for the masses. I would love to help those affected by spiritual maladies, by offering the words of comfort, and just giving them some spiritual hope. It is not too different from what I am currently doing at this place. A lady over here, in this home, told me that it is always nice to see me and talk to me... she feels less burdened, she says. I am glad I could help them, urging them onto a speedy road to recovery. I have reasons to believe that I have been under spiritual attack since a couple of years ago... but, things have been pretty dormant for a while, and I it's all good as of now. I am not looking to be ordained or anything... just to be an approved Priestess. I don't even know where to begin looking for a serious place. I need a working group... I have joined several Facebook groups, but, I am just not feeling it. It is so daunting because there are tens of thousands of initiates and so-called adepts around, and it is so hard to discover who the serious ones are! It's not cutting it at all. I don't want to be a priestess approved by any other religion other than a working group of luciferic vampire beings. There are so many Houses, too. It's like I'm banging my head against the wall. The only response I receive is my on head bleeding, and of course the blood on the wall. I feel so darn restless deep within. I JUST NEED A AN ACTIVE WORKING GROUP. Man, this is going nowhere... I am just going around in circles, chasing my own tail!

X(

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Agdistis
05:35 Dec 28 2017

I've been serving as a priest in various spiritual communities (mostly pagan and magickal) for several years. I have a lot of thoughts about priesthood, especially lately, so here's a huge blob of text :P

Lots of people want to be a priest. I think especially in paganism and Wicca, people think it's the logical endpoint of every spiritual journey.

But I really disagree. Not everyone is called to priestly work, and rushing everybody to priesthood is dangerous to both the aspiring priest and others.

Priesthood can be many things, but as I practice it, it's a path of relationship. It involves cultivating relationships with both the Gods and spirits, and humanity, and serving as a conduit.

This kind of balancing act is very difficult to pull off, and it involves a lot of sacrifice. (For a lot of people, it precludes a "normal" life. My current partner is one of the few people I know who was called to a priestly path and avoided it without either dying or going mad; he became a very loud "atheist".) People either debase the priest's path (the sacrifices can look excessive, or like a sign of weakness), or glorify it, and neither is really accurate.

In truth, I think most priests don't have a choice about being priests. It's in your nature. If you don't follow your nature -- if you don't serve -- you suffer.

Some spiritual paths give priestly initiation, but a surprising number don't. I've been told the point at which you're a priest in non-initiatory communities is when you can publicly call yourself a priest and no one laughs at you. :P

Finally, "priest" is a word that gets used in many vampyric communities to describe a broad range of paths -- including spiritworkers, magickians, and lorekeepers. But there other vampyric castes and roads that are just as worthy, and maybe even more prestigious than Priesthood. This is one of the things I like best about vampyric paths: they don't necessarily hold up Priesthood as the best, most powerful attainment, and they recognize that it's a matter of vocation and predilection.

I have a lot more thoughts. Reach out if you wanna talk. :)

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Aghori
05:59 Dec 28 2017

This is SO true! I can totally understand what you mean. I WAS going insane before I was acknowledged as a Priest. Now, that insanity and restlessness from deep within is at rest. I believe that my path has called for major sacrifices. I have sacrificed many aspects of my life to reach the point I am in my life now. Personal relationships, love, money, and more importantly, a part of my sanity. In any Priesthood, there is bound to be a strong element of sacrifice and madness, for the state of mind of a Priest calls for such sacrifices.

It is a heavy task, a continual challenge. If you proclaim yourself a Priest, others would generally mock and tease; but, in reality, it is a constant fight. It makes you wonder what and who are you attempting to Serve. This always causes mistrust and hostility, but the peace a Priest receives... now, that is finding your kingdom within and without.

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Agdistis
19:44 Dec 30 2017

Re: sacrifice: there's a folk belief out of ... I think Ireland, but don't quote me ... that to lie on a fairy mound on Beltane (i.e., to invite an initiatory experience) will render you "dead, mad, or a poet". I think that's very comparable to Priesthood (or the Awakening process in general) -- you're walking a razor's edge.

I wish we lived in a culture where we took proper care of people who are going through the crises typical of Awakening in general, or Priesthood in particular. But we kind of obliterated that from our cultural memory. We have to stumble blind, and rediscover the road -- and then figure out a way to transmit the tradition, so the next generation will do less fumbling. We sacrifice so that, hopefully, those who come after us will know which sacrifices to make and which ones to hold off on. (Because I've seen some people cast aside too much, in their eagerness to serve.)

But, yes. Like with Awakening generally, there's a rocky terrifying period, a dark night of the soul. But the folks who emerge on the other side are (usually) much stronger and more stable for it IMO.

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I have been on Rave, fidgeting with the layouts since last night. It is now 12:09pm in the day. The problem is, I had slept through the entire morning and afternoon yesterday, as I had a high fever, and only awoke in the evening at around 7pm. So, now, I obviously cannot sleep as my sleeping pattern has been disrupted. I have to stay awake this whole day and go to bed early at night later on, to rectify the sleep disruption. Man, is this what jet lag feels like? I really shouldn't sleep through entire afternoons.

Argh.

:(

Wow. Talking to Cat and visiting her multiple profiles sure is majorly influencing. Her profiles reminds me of my teenage years when I would ignore school and just sit on my computer daily creating free layouts for others who wanted them. Then, I lost interest and left the scene and that particular social media website shut down.

I would like thank Louis and KinkyPsycho for getting me one month's worth of membership for my 2 alternate profiles. I absolutely adore you guys, really. Thank you so much. Your actions have been one of the nicest, to be honest - I get to dress up two of my other profiles.

Well, yeah, I just wanted to make a shoutout in this entry... Thank you! XD

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NocturnalDreams
22:12 Dec 23 2017

No problem hun I plan on extending it

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I have the strangest nightmares when I go to sleep. This morning, I dreamt of swimming underwater and the funny thing is, there was an entire thriving human civilisation thriving over there! The best thing was I had not needed any scuba or breathing equipment. I was able to breathe and swim for long in the waters. I am just wondering about the civilisation that lives in the water... Just what exactly was I dreaming about? Atlantis? Man, I knew my unhealthy obsessions were going to cause me some issues!

I swear I did not do anything or say anything to KALIGULA. He left me a rating of 10 and left a sweet lil' message with it. He called me "Pig". Why am I a "pig", huh? And KALIGULA, if you're reading this... I love you, too!

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WeepingAngel
17:20 Dec 19 2017

Yeah that guy is a complete charmer

/sarcasm

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Slain
21:41 Dec 19 2017

: snorts: poor Kali, his reputation proceeding him and shit... Lol.

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You know what? I am still confounded by the seven deadly sins. I know I wrote some small bit on Envy, but, there are six other deadly sins, according to one aspect of theology. I was rummaging in the boxes downstairs, and found two books: one, a more comprehensive book on the seven deadly sins, and the other, about coming in contact with powerful spiritual forces, titled, "A Brilliant Deception." It's basically about how one woman's search for love unmasked an angel of darkness in disguise. Honestly, these are books one ought not to read, past the birth of dusk. Funny thing is, everytime I think I have had enough of the seven deadly sins, there is always a new perspective or a missing link, that crops up, out of nowhere. I find this fascinating... unhealthy obsession, eh? I am not a Christian... I just enjoy reading about it, just because it is in the English language, and something I can truly relate to. If you think about it, it's not really about faith. Or worship. Or prayer. It's all about the connection you develop and feel. If I cannot relate to something, then, I would not even give it the time of day. I just love how it all fits together... the past, present and the future. It is all gnosis. This life is my gnosis. As Aeon Byte's Miguel Connor said best... "Write your own gospel, and live your own myth."

:)

I was just reading something that made me balk in horror. A young girl has just sold her virginity for I think a million dollars. Makes me think... damn... Regrets! This world has upended and turned itself over, I say.

Have you ever wondered? No matter your age, educational background, money status, or social status, you just know your calibre? Can the poor ever feel rich? Can the blind "see"? Can the loneliest being ever feel content? Can the rich ever feel poor? Can the failure in education ever be an academic? Have you ever wondered about this? I am far from being a success story, but, I have always felt like I was one of the elite, in whatever that I may be involved in. According to the dictionary, the word, "elite", is defined as follows:

"1. a select part of a group that is superior to the rest in terms of ability or qualities:
"the elite of Britain's armed forces"
synonyms: best, pick, cream, crème de la crème, flower, nonpareil, elect, high society, jet set, beautiful people, beau monde, haut monde, glitterati, aristocracy, nobility, upper class"

This is not arrogance or a mere show of bravado that I am talking about. I am speaking of a real feeling... or better yet, an innate knowledge; a realisation; an enlightening moment... that overwhelms on you; a feeling of justified superiority, that burns from within. Something you can substantiate with, via your own actions and words. I am ruling out any personality maladies. I feel like an elite, and I do not mean that I am part of a secret society... I may be the lone vampire stalking the streets, but, at least I know that there are others like myself, on this planet. You may laugh and taunt me for thinking as such, but, let me tell you this: I can back it up. I am a woman who, in all honesty, is hard to find. We come in limited editions. A collector's item, so to speak.

I never wanted to be adored... I just wish to be understood. Why is that so hard?

*sighz*

I have been on Rave for about 7 years now and I still have not found the time to do some skinning of a live profile. I am no stranger to html or css coding... I have been coding since I was 17! Lol! Okay, fine... I haven't evolved much in this aspect as I am the princess of procrastination. I'd love to try it out, though, when the time avails. It looks a little complex and tedious, but, at the same time, it looks fun. Perhaps, I'll get down to it before the New Year kicks in. I'm not too sure when, though.

Oh gosh... I am eagerly awaiting a parcel to be delivered at the door. I did some online shopping and fell in love with a faux rose and black lace combination head dress. Ugh. It cannot get here, to me, soon enough.

Oh, the anticipation is killing me slowly!

*goes off humming to herself*

Question my motives and intention, why don't you...

Wow. If some beings on here were running a business with their alt profiles, they must be really wealthy! I have been meandering among all my profiles, and I must say, for someone who was quite content with my one account, I have realised that time sure does fly when alternating between profiles.

There are so many times when I have wished and yearned for my own circle of close friends. A group in which I could chill with, discuss hot topics of interests, exchange personal writing and and well, just being silly together, without any judgments made. It's so difficult to have such a group. I guess it only happens in the movies!

Recently, I have had a small acne breakout on both my cheeks. I am unsure of what caused the said breakout. The pimples hurt a little, when touched, and so, I am refraining from making contact with my skin with my bare hands. *sighz* I am just afraid of this leaving scars on my face. I don't think it's the food I consumed... a facial product? I have always relied on DIY home remedies for my skin, but, this time round, I went for a facial at a beauty centre. Then, some weeks later, I had the breakout. Man, this is horrifying. I have never had any acne problems till recently. Thank the ancients that the skin on my face is not a throbbing mass of pus-filled pimples! Eew. That sounds pretty gross, doesn't it? I am thinking that I have sensitive skin and my skin found the products from the beauty centre too strong for my face. Anyway, I think I'll go do some research for my DIY facials.

:'(

I love this cool weather. If I were in a place where there I can experience the four seasons, I'd be loving winter the most. It's funny, these beings over here. When it's really stickily humid and warm, everyone complains about the weather. Well, people, I hate to tell you this, but it's cooler these days, during the holiday season, so why don't you just shut your hole and enjoy the weather now, while it lasts, before the humid air decides to take its toll on us? It's like these beings do nothing but whine and complain all the time. I cannot wait for space travel to arrive here... there are some beings I wish would move away from the face of this world, I tell you.